Victory or death by antelope?

I love my work. So much, in fact, that I sometimes lose myself in it for weeks at a time- almost forgetting to leave the house completely. The one day I am guaranteed to leave is Thursday for my weekly appointment with my shrink, Charlie. Charlie is brilliant and extremely challenging. He has moderated political negotiations, created his own unique personality models and been arrested for attempted train robbery. He only practices psychiatry two days a week and spends the rest of his time rebuilding houses and writing 600 page psychoanalytical theory books for "intelligent people 25 years into the future."

As rejuvinating as I find my weekly brain-smashing sessions with Charlie, I needed to get a little extra fresh air this week and headed down to the beach to breathe the smells of water, trees and stones. It was good. I'm wading through my thoughts more slowly and purposefully these days, and trying to see my life and potential in a more objective and truthful way. I sometimes get frustrated at myself for not getting it faster, or for getting stuck on emotional details. I just need to grow into myself a little more. Develop some patience and be a little softer inside.

Lars and I just switched our internet connection at home, resulting in us getting real TV for the first time. (Bye-bye rabbit ears!) I've been loving it and have been listening to a lot of the Discovery channels while I work, gradually honing my understanding of babies born with extra faces and women with 200-pound tumors. A few days ago I saw footage of an anaconda eating an antelope. As I watched this beautiful snake take down and consume the antelope in one piece (horns and all), I related to both the enthusiasm and vulnerability the snake was going through. This whole year has presented itself as a succulent beast, much bigger than I alone probably deserved, and yet I gave no pause before devouring it whole. Now that the feast is over I'm pulling myself in and praying to survive the gluttony. I am too full to move (in thought or action) and yet, like some star-crossed fool, I am still dreaming of the next beast I'll get my jaws around. The next thing that will rock me to my core and fill me so awesomely I'll threaten to break. I'm such a fool- so full I can scarcely breathe and yet insatiably hungry for new experience.

When I was a little girl I'd often walk the beach for miles in search of agates. I had a big glass fishbowl that I was slowly filling with what I considered to be precious gems. One day I asked my dad what they were worth. "Not a whole lot," he told me. "A fraction of a penny each, probably." I realized at that point that I was a lot more interested in treasure than money.

After I'd gotten my fill of fresh air I went back to the grindstone. I'm still trying to get through this paint-chip collage. These take SO much time. I've been "almost done" with this for weeks now. These pieces are tough- one solitary chip can throw the whole thing. They also look extremely different up close which can make progress a bit slower. Here are some shots of the unfinished piece.

I am so close to being done. I might be just a piece or two away... I don't know for sure- I'll have to sit with it for a day or so and then look with fresh eyes. I'm always glad to finish a piece, but sometimes feel discouraged in the time between completion and the next thing.

Speaking of big things, I've done some research and have come to realize that my carousel building dreams will have to wait until I'm a little more established in my career. And/or have half a million dollars or so to throw into an idea. I don't want to make a stupid-lame small one. I want it to be huge and experiential. Unfortunately, it will probably be quite an investment and right now I'm just trying to come up with a way to survive. But I won't go into the economy- fuck that. The key to happiness is not money. It's looking rich.

Looking so, SO fucking rich.

And laughing and sex.

On another happiness-inspiring note, I just want to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who's taken time to write me about my work. It's been f-ing bueno/awesome to hear what you think and I've really learned a lot through your reactions. The response has been incredibly inspiring and although I haven't been able to reply to everyone, please know that your support means the world. Seriously- I've loved hearing from every last one of you. You're.... like, the best cheerleaders ever.

Oh- and I almost forgot to mention that I just updated my portfolio, as well with some new pieces AND this old one.

This was the first art offering I made for the Ween, back in the day when I still thought it was weird to profess my deep and eternal devotion to complete strangers in the form of artwork. Hope you enjoy.

Love,
Thea "bitch, get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich" Wolfe

Posted on 16 Oct 2008, 23:18
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Beautiful October

This past week has been awesome and eventful, kicking off with seeing Akimbo debut their new album for their 10 yr. anniversary show. It was absolutely incredible. I got their early enough to be in front and held my spot, anxiously awaiting the shredding I was about to receive at the hands of Akimbo's guitar player, (my firstborn Stallion son) Aaron Walters. I've listened to Akimbo for years but this new album, titled Jersey Shores, is some different shit...

Jon, the bass player and vocalist...

Nat on drums...

And, of course, the axe-wielding Stallion.

The album is about the infamous 1916 epidemic of shark attacks off the Jersey coast. It transitions seamlessly between swelling nautical dissonance and crushing lightning-bolt intensity that makes my hair stand on end. It hit me on a very visceral level and left me dizzy. Or maybe that was the guy who elbowed me in the head so hard it knocked me over the monitor. Hard to say.

Whatever it was, these guys are amongst the most engrossing performers I've seen. Jersey Shores isn't out yet, but it will be soon. I've been listening to it obsessively and give it a thumbs up x2. Please buy it. It will both titilate and disturb you. This is an album that I am incapable of working through, it has such a physical effect on me.

After the show I ran into Heath (friend/MOST amazing singer). I've been a huge fan of Heath's for years, but didn't go COMPLETELY gay for him until earlier this year when he stopped in the middle one of his shows because I was being molested by three drunk dudes in the front. He just stopped and yelled, "If you don't keep your fucking hands to yourself, I'm gonna come down there and beat your fucking ass" into the mic. It was very effective. It didn't stop there, either. Afterward, he went and found the guys and dragged them over to apologize. On this particular evening he was unimpressed with the guy elbow-slamming my temple.

Oh how I love you, Mr. Bauer for both your dancing AND your explosively volatile protective instinct.

In less exciting news, I've been working my little butt off on one last commissioned collage. Because this style is incredibly time consuming and meticulous I had virtually stopped accepting new commissions. This one is special, though. People always ask me how I do it. Here are some pictures.

Basically, I go steal a shitload of paint chips (sample swatches) from Home Depot. Then, I cut them into tiny little pieces and glue them on top of each other until i have a sparkling likeness of my subject. This style became so popular amongst my patrons that people were going on mad paint-chip runs. I now have HUGE bins full of them and am still receiving occasional surprise deliveries despite the fact that I quit doing them.

In other news (sorta) I am on the brink of announcing the most exciting project life thus far! I don't want to say too much yet, but I am pretty sure the deal's gonna be sealed within the next couple days- so please come back and check in soon. This is something that will be widely available at a very reasonable price. This one singular project has fulfilled more dreams and brought me more magic than I ever could have imagined. I've never been emotionally attached to the products of my work, but somehow this particular piece has symbolized so many things for me, i've found myself surprisingly sentimental about it. This has been in the works for a long time, now. Please come back soon for all the info.

Please ALWAYS come back soon. I am nearly finished with several pieces and will be doing a fairly significant update to the site within the next week or so. I'll also be posting info about an event I'm hosting at the end of the month.

Joyful joyful lovin',
Thea "lame in a good way" Wolfe

left to right: Dr. Ro6060, Fluffy, and Me
R06060 is my hot-chocolate sociopath son and is writing the outro to my upcoming book. Fluffy is my pet. (She's dead, but I don't mind.)

Posted on 3 Oct 2008, 12:25
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