Even When the Rodeo Hurts

I have so much in my heart right now, but so little vocabulary for it. It's been an intense past couple of weeks and I'm feeling a little beaten down by it all, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. A big "thank you" to one of my new collectors, Jason, because the painting he bought on Thursday is gonna entirely cover a much needed trip to California. I can't wait. We need to get away for a little bit, if only for a couple days.

Of course, those of you who know me know that I'm never just "getting away." I'm always on my unyielding quest to fulfill my potential as an outsider artist (hopefully one who doesn't suck), and live up to my role as a vicariously life-giving intergalactic butt mother. Lars is always along for the ride to make sure I don't hurt myself. (And to make me feel better when I do.)

Here are a few of my plans and wishes between now and my return from CA.

1. Deliver "Trey and Tom-Tom Ride the Matticorn" to the William Morris Talent Agency (it's on El Camino drive- a very good sign.)

I'd ship it, but I'll feel better looking into someone's face and hearing them say they'll get this piece to the guys. I spent a lot of time on it and "don't wanna sound like a queer or nothin', but unicorns are kick-ass!"

2. Ride the Wrong at Disneyland, thus walking the brainsplittingly thin line between dark comedy and corporate terror. I always thought Disneyland sucked until I started looking at it through the perspective of horror. Now I'm excited.

3. Send the John Waters drawing to John Waters.

4. Send the beautiful Rob Brezsny the the piece I made him, titled "World."

5. Somehow find a way to get "No Bitch, I Am The Wolf" to Danzig. He needs to know.

6. Make more ponies. I'm into drawing fruity mystical creatures like horses and unicorns now. You can enjoy some of the growing collection in the portfolio section of my site (I just updated) and please, keep checking back. I have such gems as the Pamelacorn and the Ron Jeremicorn coming soon. I love Pam AND the Hedgehog. They're true American classics.

7. Figure out what the fuck I'm doing. Can I make a career off drawing ponies? The bigger and more honest question I need to ask myself is HOW I'm gonna survive this incredibly uncertain life I've chosen. This is a lifestyle where everything is a risk and nothing is guaranteed. It's made more difficult by the fact that I am totally uncompromising in my unwillingness to work with galleries. (While the interest is flattering, I find it to be a corrupt system and pretty antithetical to the point of being an artist.) I need to dig deep inside myself and find some answers because because being an artist is about as much a choice as being gay.

I know I'll make this life work for me, I just wonder if it has to hurt the whole time? I guess it's best not to think about too much. Pain has never been a deal-breaker for me. The only way things can "not hurt" is if you don't care. Unfortunately, I completely do when it comes to my work.

8. Bring MY style to Rodeo Drive. Caring what people think of ME is a different story. That, I pretty much don't give a shit about.

Oh, I know. I'm a tasteful bitch. Cher is my fashion hero. I wish I could be so classy, but I can't- so I simply aspire to be as naked.

Speaking of style, this seems like an appropriate time to bring up my one, singular regret this year.

This hat was only ten dollars but we thought it was frivilous, given our financial situation. I think about this hat every day. I wish I was kidding. I've shown the picture to most of my kids, all of whom have been shocked and disgusted with me for leaving it behind. That hat was made for me and I suck for not bringing it home for the lifetime of sweet lovin' it deserved. If anyone in Wyoming knows where I can get one of these, please email me at: sufficientmusician@hotmail.com Unfortunately, it was the only one on the shelf at this particular gas station and I have my doubts as to whether or not we'll ever be together again. It's my missing piece.

So there you have it. That's where I am, still truckin' along- although ridin' a little dirty these days. I was supposed to go shooting with Jonny today (WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED) but the hippie decided to go camping instead. What a buttlord.

Keep checking back, I'll have all kinds of adventures to report when I get back from California... maybe sooner.

Thanks for your continued support. Check out my portfolio- I updated it today.

All the remaining sweet lovin',
Thea

Posted on 7 Sep 2008, 13:43
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Thru the Dawn..

It's been a little over a week since my party and after some thought and a great deal of tiramisu I have drawn up my plans for the future.

Here are the fantastic and seemingly chimerical schemes I'll be applying my energy to in the coming months. I present to you, my present desires (in no particular order.)

1. Be paid 40,000 dollars to ride Danzig like a pony for two days. Glenn and I deserve one another and I'm fixin' to let him know. Don't act like you don't want to see that shit.

The man is so pony-shaped.

2. Gunsmithing apprenticeship with Big Jim (although he may not be done setting up shop this year...) I'd really like to make fancy shotguns and custom blackpowder pieces.

3. Work for Trey Parker and/or Matt Stone. I really don't know what I could possibly do for them... but if they ever had a sudden need for a giant, lewd Animal vs. Celebrity mural or a double-wide wheelchair with a Gin-cuzzi trailer, I'd want them to know I was their woman.

4. Start the "Punk Rock Forum" and/or write and illustrate "The Fascist Punk Rock Lifestyle Guide." My children are urging me toward the latter, which is good because I need Airbo for the forum, and he's too drunk for dialogue.

5. Be sponsored to ride a four-man bicycle across the United States with Butterbutt and two equally shameless friends. Whenever I imagine this scenario, we are all wearing clothing tastelessly inspired by American Gladiators. I'd actually love ANY chance to do something that would take me out into open stretches of sparsely populated country. Out in the mountains, I feel better about the world.

6. Make art for Rob Brezsny. Rob is the greatest astrologer, writer and guru I've ever happened upon.

7. Get back into performing swanky, moody, AWESOME music with musicians who's talents vastly exceed my own. (I definitely see loungy Danzig covers in my future.)

8. Work with John Waters. His wish is my command in the name of candy-coated wrongness (so long as we leave dog shit to Divine- God rest her soul...)

Between you and me, when I'm home by myself I like to dress up as John McCain dressed up as John Waters.

I'm sorry if this offends you. It's not my intention. Unfortunately, I think I'm funny. And hello, we're pretty cute together- me and the Johnny's- dont'cha think? I won't tell anyone that you like it.

9. Dress like a ninja with Richard Colman and hit the town with a tape deck and a tricked out shopping cart full of spray paint. (I'd LOVE so much to own a Richard Colman piece- but being that I, too, am an artist- will probably not be able to afford one until well after I'm dead.) This guy is fucking amazing, though. I'd definitely take a road trip to see his shit in person. Not to Denmark, though. I just don't think Mrs. Chang could make it.

10. Find more of my cosmic children because the Universe will frown upon me if I slow my intergalactic mothering.

Love you, Jakey-pants x2.

11. See if I can find an experience I love as much seeing Ween play. Could there possibly be other beings on God's good green Earth who can unleash their unbridled souls and repeatedly knock me on my ass? It seems doubtful, but I'm keeping my heart open. I'm looking for experiences to help me transcend.

12. Build and set up vegetable, herb and potato boxes so I can afford organic produce and see the general public as little as possible.

13. Paint the things I saw through the last year with La Cu that I felt were too beautiful for me to deserve. I didn't feel like I was a good enough artist to even try to paint them before, but I think I might be ready now.

14. Create greater life in the world through art.

Check back soon, hopefully I'll have something interesting to report. If you want to email me questions, comments, love letters or hate mail, please hit me up at sufficientmusician@hotmail.com

the sweetest sweet sweet lovin',
Thea "No bitch, I'm the motherfucking Wolf" Wolfe

Posted on 28 Aug 2008, 19:47
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